Who hasn’t been in the situation where a complete stranger walks into a room full of people and within seconds all eyes were on him or her and conversation has all but halted?
And as soon as this person opens their mouth and utters the first words, the fascination reaches a fever-pitch and a palpable sense of magnetism exists between this person and others in the room. You can be this way too. Here are 5 tips to help.
Secret No. 1 Make it About Others
We often tend to look at communication with others from our very own unique “I” perspective. And if you experience the fear of public speaking, you’re more likely to focus on yourself as you notice your worried thoughts and feelings.
The most effective communication occurs when we consider the other side’s, our audience’s, unique perspective and hear and see our communication through their ears, eyes and unique perceptional filters. In short, learn everything about your audience’s perceptual modes and communicate with them in the way they prefer. Only then can you truly tailor your communication to their specific objectives and land your message.
Secret No. 2 Knowledge is Sexy
It’s great when you can speak about many topics and have a basic understanding of pop culture, current events and what is generally making the evening news. But those who have a deep knowledge about a particular field, true experts, are projecting particularly powerful magnetism to others.
When you look at your own industry or profession, see what you can do to truly become an expert in your field. One who could withstand the scrutiny of other experts in your field during debate and provide unique angles and perspectives that can only be known to someone who knows their field inside and out.
Secret No. 3 Listen Up
People who are perceived as magnetic are often excellent listeners. They listen with their entire being and give vocal and nonverbal feedback that they are listening–whether it is a nod, a smile, a slight cocking or tilting of the head, squinting of the eyes, or grunting approval, wonder, amazement or dismay. Whatever it is there is always something coming back from a good listener. Good listeners also clarify without interrupting when they look for better understanding of what you said.
Eye contact is critical as well, as we “look” to understand someone, not just “listen”. The more engaged you come across the more your magnetism you will exude to your communication partners.
Secret No. 4 Tell a Good Story
A story does what facts and statistics never can: it inspires and it motivates. That’s why expert storytellers are such effective and magnetic communicators. They translate complex ideas into practical examples laced with strong emotional connections. People tune in because they see themselves and the storyteller’s personality woven into the story.
Storytelling is a time-tested way of establishing trust and rapport, and of cementing collaborative behaviors. It’s also a powerful teaching tool. The story paints a more vivid picture of the world than columns of numbers or facts can. And it does so in a way that’s more likely to inspire and motivate those who hear it.
Secret No. 5 Remember People’s Names
It’s classic advice you’ve undoubtedly heard many times. How do you fare when it comes to remembering people’s names after you’ve just met them, be it at a business gathering or a social event?
If you have trouble remembering names, try using mnemonic devices like combining someone’s last name with a color characteristic a person displays. For instance, Mr. Brown may have brown hair, or wear brown shoes. Actively make that association in your mind and the next time you see Mr. Brown, you’ll remember his name by looking at his hair or his shoes, even if he’s wearing a different color.
The key is to associate an object, concept, idea or event with the person’s name so that the moment you run into them the “thing” you’ve associated with them enters your mind.
Now that you know how to project magnetic confidence, enjoy the benefits you’ll receive in your personal and professional lives.