For some, self-confidence training is a negative thing carrying with it certain negative connotations.
Let’s examine those here and demolish them accordingly.
People either have self-confidence or they don’t
More correctly, they typically either demonstrate a strong degree of self-confidence or they don’t.
There are huge numbers of people who have a great degree of self-confidence but they’ve been conditioned by their surroundings (family, friends and colleagues) to suppress and hide that.
Self-confidence training can help to remove those blocks and to free up the confident person inside.
Of course there are people who genuinely have low levels of self-esteem and confidence. Training can help to expand and enhance those low levels – levels that might be inhibiting their daily lives in terms of careers and relationships etc.
Improving self-confidence means people become more arrogant
Self-confidence and arrogance are completely different things. Some of the calmest, quietest and most considerate / conciliatory people around are those with the highest levels of self-confidence.
In fact, self-confidence training often removes the pressure to feel you always have to be visible and “loud” in order to show you’re engaged and making a contribution. Being self-confident means you have the ability to sit back and listen to other viewpoints and review them without feeling threatened.
Furthermore, having self-confidence doesn’t mean “grandstanding” or monopolizing every conversation. It just won’t happen.
Self-confidence training is an offshoot of Hippy philosophy
Self-confidence training has been around in one form or another for centuries.
For example, a lot of military officer school training was (and is) based around improving self-confidence in the cadets, so that they were (are) better positioned to lead.
It IS correct that the techniques have evolved over time and around the mid-20th century there was a large expansion in the science of psychology and trying to develop the inner person. However, even those developments now look dated in the 21st century, where new techniques have been developed and are applied.
This has absolutely nothing whatsoever to do with “Hippy movement” of the 1960s.
A lack of self-confidence reflects your real abilities
No, it absolutely does not.
Many of us have been subject to pressure throughout our lives, pressure that often (sometimes unintentionally) inclines us to hold back or denigrate our real capabilities.
The reasons might vary:
- some parents worry about the “cruel world” out there and try to manage their children’s expectations downwards. Although well intentioned and trying to shield them from later disappointment, this can lead younger people to lack confidence in their own abilities;
- certain bosses can fear the rising potential of an “upstart” and see them as a potential threat for the future. They can denigrate the individual’s activities to protect their own position and destroy the person’s self-confidence in the process;
- some cultures discourage “showing off” or demonstrating too much success. Those pressures can cause self-confidence to be suppressed for fear of “standing out”.
These are just a few illustrations as to how lower self-confidence can develop and bear absolutely no relationship whatsoever to the person’s true abilities.
You can’t measure the success of self-confidence training
Yes you can!
Certainly in professional life and indeed some aspects of personal life, an individual has measurable goals and objectives.
After appropriate training of this type, in a very large percentage of cases, the increasing self-confidence of the person WILL result in a measurable and demonstrable improvement in their achievement of their personal and professional objectives.
Does this work in every single case? No, it is true that there are a very few individuals who do not seem to measurably benefit from such training.
The vast majority will though – and you’ll be able to verify that.