True self-confidence comes from belief in oneself and through action that proves the belief. Today, based on what I’ve found out about self-confidence, I am able to do things that at one time I didn’t think I would ever do or could do. Now I feel like I can conquer the world! Let me take to you back to my childhood and give you an insight into the “old me.”
When I was a child, both my father and my teachers thought I was “dumb and stupid.” In their minds they thought that I was mentally retarded and an IQ test “proved to them” that I was. Though, such tests do not take into account stress from outside factors that contribute to a lower score. And when you add in the fact that I stuttered, it only made my so-called “dumbness” worse and led to my self-confidence to drop even further at that time.
And yet, doing things that proved otherwise was key for me getting to a higher level of confidence. My martial arts training and playing Pop Warner football both helped. I also realized I was good at creating new ideas. So I went with those factors in building up my own confidence. The speaking to others would have to wait when I was ready to express myself.
Eventually I discovered my self-confidence in the speaking arena too. What I won’t tell you that simply giving unwarranted praise will build self-confidence. It won’t. What I’m going to share here are five keys I discovered in gaining absolute self-confidence and that will help you too:
1. Believe with all your might that you are worthy. When you believe in yourself, you will start to behave that you deserve all that life has to offer. It’s also the path towards confident action.
2. Action is king in creating the neuroconnections of self-confidence. Part of the action process is creating the physiology of confidence. Imagine how a very confident person would stand, walk and/or carry themselves. Now, imagine you doing the same thing and then do it.
3. Make mistakes. The more you make and when you learn from them, the more confident you will get. Finding out what works and what doesn’t work in a given situation will increase know-how. It’s a fallacy that people have what is known as “common sense.” It all depends on the experiences one has regarding a given situation that will give them the sense necessary for it. Until and unless you have that experience and knowledge, it’s not “common sense” to you.
4. Surround yourself with supportive people. That may include friends, mentors, associates and even customers/clients. I get much from my clients all the time. When they are successful after a suggestion I make, then it helps to build confidence in me.
5. Keep a scrapbook, binder of accomplishments, newspaper articles, testimonials, and so forth that showcase YOU! Just like trophies and medals won by athletes, this will serve as a reminder to you that you can do things worthy of big praise. While this is external in nature, it does serve to affect your subconscious mind. If you’ve written a book, keep that around in the same regard.
Now, take each of the keys and start developing the self-confidence you want in your life. Remember this, the more you do to build self-confidence, the more you will get it. And keep doing it! BTW, the new me has earned two doctorates, a 5th degree blackbelt in Kenpo (and other blackbelts), wrote books, created successful (and some not so successful) business ventures and so much more!