Being able to help somebody, I mean really help somebody is a great feeling.
In fact, one the of the greatest ways to significantly jack up your self confidence and self esteem is to always be on the lookout for people in need.
Not big time in need, like secretly giving away millions to charities around the world, but simple things, like holding doors open for people, helping somebody pick up something they dropped, etc.
Now, you CAN go too far with this. Nobody likes a nosy busybody. If they’re doing just fine, and you shove yourself in your face and convince yourself you’re “helping” them, you’re really just imposing yourself on them.
But when you politely ask them if they need help, they say yes, you help them, and then you don’t wait around to be told what a hero you are, it really DOES feel pretty good.
The trick is to get in and out quickly. Ideally you want to leave the situation BEFORE they start to fully express their thanks.
The power of this trick is NOT to do it to get some positive feedback from others. You are NOT trying to develop some magic social proof by being known as the person who helps others. You want to do this as secretly as possible.
I’m talking about opening doors for people in a way that only YOU know you did something nice for somebody else.
Again, I’m talking about really small things that you can literally do in a couple seconds.
More than anything, the fact that you noticed they needed help, and you helped them is more valuable than the actual help.
It’s easy to feel alone. When we’re suddenly confronted with our “aloneness” on a day to day basis by those things that we simply can’t handle easily on our own, it DOES feel really good to have some stranger swoop in and save the day.
The great thing about language is that you can this covertly, with just some small shifts with the words and sentences you use.
You can literally turn any conversation from something that’s just passing the time, to something that uplifts and inspires the person you’re speaking with, all on the down low.
They’ll suddenly feel better, you’ll feel better (since you know what’s REALLY going on) and you get the fantastic boost in self confidence.
And they’ll leave the conversation wondering why you’re so charismatic and magnetic. They won’t be able to put their finger on it, but for some reason they just feel so much better when you’re around.
If you start doing this with ALL your conversations, you’ll literally create a world filled with wonderful relationships and wonderful people that are ALWAYS happy to see you.