We are our own worst enemies sometimes. We can be so cruel to ourselves. “How could I have done something so colossally stupid?”, “I’m too fat”, “I don’t have anything interesting to add to the conversation”, “Surely this person will not like me when they really get to know me”, “I’ll never be as good as this person at this job”, and so on. Does any of that sound familiar?
Well, you have tried beating yourself up. Maybe it has partially worked. But how about a new tactic, see if that works better? How about trying to have more compassion for yourself?
Let’s say you got into a situation where you feel really judgemental about what you have just done or said and how you may have looked to others. Now, if you know EFT, tapping on this event is easy. If not, you can learn EFT from many places on YouTube or download a free guide from many an EFT practitioner’s site. EFT works by using a special combination of easily self-applied acupressure and releasing wording. It is suitable for all, unless you have schizophrenia or psychosis, and of course, it is always good to check with your medical practitioner before trying something new. So, anyway, let’s say that like the vast majority of people, EFT is perfectly safe and easy for you to use. If so, here is a how-to-tap for the above incident.
Imagine that situation that makes you feel really judgemental or self-critical. If you were to watch it on a TV screen, how cringe-worthy is it? On a scale of 10-0, where 10 is the most judgemental you feel about yourself and 0 is “Oh well, I forgive myself and move on”, what number do you feel? If anything above a zero, tap as follows until it becomes a zero:
Setup: “Even though I feel judgemental about this incident, I am willing to consider having more compassion for myself, even if that feels somehow not quite right, and that’s OK”
Reminder: “Feeling judgemental about this incident.”
It may take a few minutes, an hour, or several days or weeks to get to that zero point. Go at your own pace. You are not in a race with anybody. You are just learning how to feel more self-esteem and self-worth. You are learning how to feel more at ease with yourself when in the company of others.