Do you look towards others for validation? Do you find your self-worth depends on how worthwhile people think you are? Do you wish you had the confidence that others seem to have? If so, read on.
Let us take the last question. If you wish to have the self-confidence that others seem to have, then the first implication is that you would be happy to have it. And if you are happy to have that self-confidence, then the second implication is that you would be happy to consider how to achieve it. Now that we have established these two implications, let us look at one way to get a good quality that others have.
If someone has self-confidence that you would like for yourself, then by doing what they do, you can experience how they feel. And what do people with confidence do, you may well ask. You see, they do not look towards others for self-validation but know it in themselves. After all, self-worth or self-esteem is just that. It is the value you put on yourself. It is not the value others put on you. And it certainly is not the value that you may imagine others put on you (this is usually much lower than people actually think you are worth.
Having said all that, it may well feel like such a big step to start valuing yourself independently of other’s opinion. It may well seem impossible. And that is OK. We can bridge this gap in an easy step. The way to do this is to get a small notebook that you carry around with you everywhere (or use your phone or tablet) and make a note whenever someone says something nice about you. Write it down, exactly as they said it. Even if you do not believe it yourself, just make a note of it anyway. And make sure to write everything others tell about yourself that makes you feel good.
Then when you get home and have even as little as 10 minutes for tapping, tap as you say out loud the list of good things people said about you. If you cannot say it out loud, maybe because there are other people at home, you can say it out loud in your mind. Tap on all the points you usually like using. There is no need for a Setup or Reminder or any other preparation. Simply tap as you read, over and over again, for about 5-10 minutes.
Should any uncomfortable emotions come up for you, simply tap for them in the usual way.
Keep the list of good things that people say about you and add to it as you go along. Every time you hear something that makes you feel good about yourself, add it to the list. Do the tapping to those positive statements every day for 8 weeks, and see how you feel.
If you are not into EFT tapping, you can still do this exercise without the tapping. However, EFT makes it much more powerful, by releasing the negative emotions that try to block you from fully accepting others’ positive talk. If you are new to EFT, basically, it is short for Emotional Freedom Techniques and involves stimulating certain acupressure points whilst using releasing wording. It is very flexible and versatile, hence its popularity. If new to you, simply download a free guide from many an EFT website, or have a look at YouTube videos demonstrating the tapping technique. Happy Tapping!